You know that feeling when you find out something about someone that is in complete contrast with the character you thought they possessed.
You are disappointed and hurt, because of the importance this person carries in your life. Someone you look up to and think the world of, always over looking there previous mistakes in the name of Love.
You get mad at yourself for assuming they weren't like everyone else. That this particular thing would never be an issue for them.
For assuming they were different.
Once you find out this thing about them you can no longer look at them the same. You don't know how to act around them.
They don't know that you know.
You want to love them the same.
Unconditional.
To an extent you do, but still in the back of your mind the memory of your not so fond discovery keeps reeling like a movie.
You feel numb.
Not happy, not sad, not angry, but indifferent and confused.
As if your mind is trying to figure out what to do. It can't decide what emotion to convey.
Time takes a halt as your mind searches for the correct way to process something it never thought it would have to.
You don't want to talk about it because you don't trust yourself to keep the news from turning into venomous gossip as it slips off your tongue.
So you say nothing... as thoughts play over and over. you try every form of distraction.
Nothing works.
You cry out to God for peace of mind.... And you get it, but now your heart swells with pain because you can feel, almost taste the tangible Love God has for them.
How much He longs to heal every crater life has created in their hearts over a lifetime causing them to choose this path in the first place.
Worst of all you realize you can not fix them.
You would give up your own God filled mostly Healed Heart and take there broken tormented one if just given the opportunity.
You've now caught another glimpse more of the Love of the Father.
No more wasted time.
